UnderCover Waitress: Some Sarcasm For Tuesday Laughs

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Some Sarcasm For Tuesday Laughs

Went browsing on Pinterest for "some e cards" that seemed relevant to my years on the floor as a waitress.

I took a couple of sabbaticals, and even though I returned to the same restaurant after each one this was truly me. Hey, just being honest.

Seriously, it didn't take me long to get back on track and know what I was doing. Shifts may be going great, money is coming in, and then it hits me: 

The notorious bad tipper seems like a nice guy. He and his group are always very pleasant to wait on, but they leave ten percent. Every time. Yeah, I remember him. 
Tourist season brings in vacationers who act as if everybody exists to entertain them. I don't mind people being excited to be on vacation -- actually, it's nice. And I am always happy to answer questions about the area to the best of my ability. Unfortunately, many tourists lack appropriate boundaries. My personal life and personal history are not menu items. 
We had a night when the kitchen seemingly blew up and all hot food came out ridiculously late. People literally waited over an hour for their meals. A woman who was ready to bite my head off while waiting really did apologize after she got some protein into her body. I remember her warmly, because she had the grace to approach me to say she was sorry. 

Then, there are the tables I look at and think this. 
Everybody wants something for free. Nobody wants to have a "stupid waitress" be right when they  are wrong. The hair you discovered halfway through your salad matches your own, and there are no blondes working in the kitchen. You ordered the fish, that's why I brought you fish. (She was expecting eggs.) Yes, I did tell you the craft beer was a double size. (He lowered my tip to punish me.) And so forth. I also made the mistake once of correcting a patron's pronunciation of a menu item. Yup, you guessed it: lower tip.  
That is when this starts: 

People tip better when they see you as their friend. Waitressing is emotionally exhausting, too. 

It is unfortunate that alcoholism is rampant in the restaurant industry. It is not, however, surprising. This was me getting ready to eat my own dinner after the restaurant was empty. 

It's never a good idea to do this. 

In restaurants, we have our language. "86" is the least of it. 
And last but not least, this is for all servers on the floor who live in states with a tip credit, i.e., they make less than minimum wage: 

Happy Tuesday! 


  1. Good ones!

    I often wonder how some people managed to get this far...

    1. Thanks! Your style with the pictures has inspired me.

  2. Pictures and slogans tell a story that would take eons to explain. Nicely done. :)


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