UnderCover Waitress: I Call Bull Sheet: Biggest Schmuck Cannot Afford Tip

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I Call Bull Sheet: Biggest Schmuck Cannot Afford Tip

This image from Gawker, The Biggest Schmuck on Earth Left This as a Tip, may go viral.

I call bullshit, let me count the ways:

The first, and most obvious, is that people who claim they can afford to eat out can afford to tip. If they can do enough math to figure out that if they pay higher taxes, they will have less spending money, then they can figure out $X of food bought in the grocery store lasts much longer than $X of food bought in a restaurant.

And don't start in on the "no time to cook" crap. Microwavable meals from the frozen food section cost less than dining out, even if you steal the service by not tipping. So does the McDonald's drive-thru, for that matter.

All of that pales in comparison to why I am laughing at this despicable tip note. Let's take it slow:

1) Obama is a Democrat. Therefore, his progressive policies to give all citizens access to health care cause conservative Republicans to scream "tax and spend! tax and spend!" Conservatives like George W. Bush don't tax, they just spend. And spend. And spend, on unnecessary and unending wars. Hence, a large portion of our current deficit.

2) When conservative Republicans preach austerity, they don't want to ask millionaires to practice austerity. No, they only require that poor people practice more austerity than they already do. So:

  • Grandma can freeze in the winter because her social security payment went down and she can't afford to heat her apartment. 
  • Or, children who get subsidized breakfast at school can now start the school day hungry. 
  • Or, residents of New Jersey can take the loss caused by Hurricane Sandy, never rebuild their homes and neighborhoods. 
  • Or, non-managerial employees of restaurants can have their hours cut so the boss doesn't have to pay for health care. 
  • Or, waitresses can go without tips because after feeding their greedy faces, the well-to-do are too "austere" to tip. 
If your taxes are going up, you are doing extremely well. That means you can still afford to tip. And you have no business whatsoever punishing the poor, working class by making them poorer. The rich may not hold the poor hostage: "make me support society's infrastructure by paying my fair share of taxes, and I'll make sure the waitress can't eat!" >burp<

It is truly infantile and stiffing a waitress does not change a thing -- except ensure that he will receive bad service if he ever sets foot in that restaurant again.

I am sorry that some food server had to clean up after this non-tipping slob, but I must admit that I am loving how succinctly and poetically this schmuck displayed the hypocrisy, selfishness and lack of maturity of the conservative wrong. 



  1. That is poor taste for someone to leave such a thing. If you must cut back on discretionary spending, then do it. It doesn't have to be announced and blame given. This is just someone believing they are making a point.

    The point with discretionary spending is true though. When money is lost in one area, people tend to crunch in other areas and discretionary spending is the first thing they decrease after cutting 4 of their 5 HBO and 3 of their 4 Showtime channels.

    Just so you know, everyone's taxes went up. SSN and Medicare percentages went up 2% I believe. That's a car payment for my family and we are nowhere near making above the cut off amount promised.

    So what will we do? We created a budget, car pool once or twice per week, cut gratuity from 25% to just under 20%, attend happy hour and leave when the specials are over, shop for our Christmas presents on Dec. 26th, and wait for DVDs to come rather than go to a movie.

    There are plenty of ways to cut spending, but this guy is a schmuck about it. I am financially conservative, but I do not consider myself a democrat or a republican, because neither side understands anything about the role of government.

    They are supposed to use the current tax revenue to maintain a budget. The government hasn't passed a budget in almost 4 years. How can you hike up taxes when you don't even understand your budget and have it under control first?

    That's the same problem many Americans had before the economic downturn: credit card debt and living way beyond their means.

    Oh well, sorry I ranted all over your blog. lol

    1. Rant away! Comments full of "me, too" would be quite boring to read. We can disagree and discuss.

    2. Also, I was going to wait to see what others had to say, but it's bugging me so I am going to respond now.

      Re: cutting HBO or Showtime channels, cry me a river. Some of the people I advocate for live in cars.

      Re: "just so I know, everybody's taxes went up." I knew that -- social security taxes were scheduled to go up anyway, and neither party had any interest in changing that. Would have happened regardless.

      It's hard to balance a budget not when you don't understand your budget, but rather, when there is no revenue due to the Bush tax cuts which should expire on the more well-to-do.

      The last president to balance the budget was Bill Clinton (source: CNN.) Why do you only go back four years?

      And we agree that the guy who stiffed the waitress is a schmuck who chose a poor way to make his point.

      There, I feel better. Next?

  2. It's someone being a rat bastard thinking he's making a point. What a wanker.

    Makes you want to smack him upside the head. Forty or fifty thousand times.

  3. I think there's this weird anger and blaming thing Republicans are doing here. Since they assume the poor wait staff voted for Obama, they are taking it out on them to make a point. Makes lots of sense, lol.

  4. It's sore losers' sour grapes, basically a type of passive aggression, leaving little notes like that. How embarrassing to be known as someone who behaves that way.

  5. Outrageous! Rogue Wino, I couldn't agree with you more, it seems as if someone is making their own "socialist" program, and penalizing the hardworking server....Conservatives.


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