UnderCover Waitress: Tip of the Iceberg

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Monday, December 19, 2011

Tip of the Iceberg

Oh, my... the theme of today's Let's Blog Off is, "If you can't afford the tip, you can't afford the meal." Heh. There is so much that I have to say about this, it is impossible to do the subject justice in on one post.

But first, a show of hands. How many of you thought of iceberg lettuce when you read the title? Just curious.

Yes, it is understood in the American restaurant industry that some percentage of the bill is the tip, and that a tip is part of the cost of eating out. Servers in most states make $2 or $3 per hour with the expectation that they will earn at least minimum wage with tips. While this begs the question, "how much to tip?" this post is not about numbers.

Waitressing is the only profession in the states in which the consumer gets to decide how much we get paid. Workers in other occupations are salaried, or hourly, but all of them know they will receive $X for Y work.

Even salesmen, who work on commission, know exactly what commission they will receive for so many sales. Telemarketers, who are lowest type of salesmen, push people to pay with a credit card for many reasons, only one of which is that their commission is higher if consumers pay with plastic. Insist on writing a check, and the telemarketer receives a smaller commission when the check clears. Waitresses don't know what the tip is until after the meal.

Eating out is about so much more than getting fed. It is also about power.

Had a bad day? Find fault with the waitress and punish her with a small tip. Did your boss yell at you today? Yell at the waitress; it will make you feel better. Feeling helpless and small? Come to the restaurant so you can feel bigger than the people fetching for you and cleaning up after you. Then, reward them with a small tip to feel even more superior. Maybe you had a great day and are not out to get anybody, but when you sit in a restaurant, you get to be the judge and jury. And you decide whether the waitress gets a good tip for her efforts.

Some decent tippers are still a pain to wait on. We have regulars who come in to show off how important they are. Take the doctor who should know better than to waltz into the kitchen to say "hi" to his good friend, the chef. What, you didn't know they were good friends? You do now.

Some tables want a dog and pony show. The chef is expected to come out on the floor and make conversation while all of the "little people" at the other tables gawk and whisper.

Then there is the Captain and Tenille. They always sit at the same table which is front, center, and the best table in the restaurant. They always have the wine chilling on said table before they arrive, and a floral centerpiece on the table that they ordered from the local flower shop. The florist delivers to us, and we set up the table.

Then, the Captain and Tenille waltz in late so that the table has been set up for all to see for a long time. Everybody in the restaurant knows the people who will sit there must be important to have such a nice table waiting for them. When the Captain and Tenille arrive with their friends, they promenade slowly through the restaurant to their table, looking around to ensure that everybody sees their royal presence. It makes me want to vomit.

Money is power. People go to restaurants to enjoy food, service, and entertainment. They go to see and be seen. And before they leave, they exert their power over the waitress.

Of course, the restaurant industry is set up with the expectation that a tip will be paid to the server. Those who feel entitled to leave no tip are cheating; a low tip may be a reflection on the service, but no tip is a reflection on the customer.

I have received low tips that I thought were unfair. For example, had a table that spent something like $150. Two things went wrong: while I was taking their order, the kitchen ran out of a special. I had to go back, apologize, and take a different order. If that weren't bad enough, they sent a cut of meat back that they felt was not cooked correctly. Hard for me to control either of these things. She tipped me $5. *itch.

I've made mistakes on tables that were my fault, but not been punished with a dock in pay. I once completely forgot about an outside table. Eventually, they came inside to inquire about paying their bill. (Oops...) They tipped me $20 on $100 because I had a good rapport with them and they had an enjoyable evening. Therefore, my faux pas was forgiven.

The $5 tip was a statement about the service, although I beg to differ about what I can be held responsible for. The $20 tip was because they liked me. How much to tip is up to the customer.

Tip nothing? There is something wrong with YOU. In all my years of waitressing, I have been tipped $0 all of three times. Each and every time, the table was full of obnoxious, entitled, and self-important cretins long before it came time to pay. Each and every time, I did my job. And all three times, they exerted their power with a display of their true colors. Cheaters.

Those who are tired of trying to figure out what to tip suggest that we raise the price of menu items and pay waitresses a decent hourly wage. Whether you enjoy the games or not, doing this would change the entire dynamic. And for some, it would take the fun out of eating out.





30 comments :

  1. I waited tables when I was younger, so I know what you're talking about. I once had a business lunch I handled by myself--about 20 people during the rush--while all the other servers waited on all the other tables. When the bill came everyone tossed in the cash they figured they owed--you know how that works out; they almost never calculate enough to cover tax and tip--which left me with something like $5. For my entire shift. I actually ran after them as they were strolling back to their office; caught up with one, showed him the cash in my hand, and asked if anything had been wrong with the service. He kind of shrugged, not because anything had been wrong with the service (I know it hadn't), but because everyone else was a couple blocks ahead and he didn't want to be the one responsible for ponying up, he just shrugged apologetically. And that was that.

    That said, last night we ate at a restaurant where our service was not up to par. I didn't get the sense at all that the server was unusually busy, though I could be wrong, and when it came time to pay, I faced my usual dilemma when tipping someone who didn't do a good job. I still sympathize with the person who does, after all, need make a living, and I realize that servers are human beings with lives outside the restaurant. But, still, the service was lousy. If I leave a poor tip, will a less-than-competent server understand why I've done so? Last night, in the end, I tipped something like 18%. I don't know if I'm a chump, or just someone who understands and accepts my role in the equation.

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  2. I might get some blows to the head and shoulders for saying this, but there have been a handful of times when I have not left a tip. My mother was a waitress, and I worked in restaurants as a young man, as dishwasher and cook, so I do know the ins and outs of the business. Also, I had my father’s example who actually said, “If I don’t have enough for the tip, I don’t have enough for the meal.”

    I always tip fifteen to twenty percent. I also understand that sometimes the restaurant is very busy, and the service suffers a bit in consequence. That’s not hard to figure out; you can see the people running back and forth. But there have been three or four times in god knows how many times eating out (I’m 66, so the number must surely be large) when the service has just been absolutely abominable, and I have not left a tip.

    But on the other hand, there have been quite a few more times when the service has been absolutely first rate, to a point where I have almost felt pampered, and not, I hasten to add, because of anything I may have done. There was one local waiter who served us that way, one we had several times, but all the rest have been people I never saw before or since. But when I have encountered those, I have tipped lavishly, and if they have any kind of comment forum, I have made sure to leave a nice comment.

    Most of the time when we eat out, we do so locally, and ours is a neighborhood with very little in the way of restaurants, so we end up with only three choices. We have come to know a lot of those waiters, and we have always tipped them well. We also treat them well, because my wife and I have worked all our lives, and know what it is to be treated like dirt—and how it is to be treated like a decent human being. My wife is Mexican-American, as is one of our “regular” waitresses. My wife always calls this lady by name, and talks to her whether she waits on our table or not. One time this lady said, “Wow, you always make me feel special.”

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  3. @Joe, blows with a soft noodle. ;-) Actually, I am on board with most of what you said. I think the people who wait on you once don't take it seriously; they are doing something "in between" jobs or school or whatever. The regulars who treat you well are professionals, and I thank you for treating them well in return. I stand by my opinion that you should tip at least $1 or $2 for bad service in a restaurant. But really, when the service is that bad, mentioning it to the manager is appropriate.

    We've had people yell at management -- gets you nowhere. We've had people complain to management about things and the manager sided with us, and people complain about things and the manager sided with the customer. If it's really bad, it's worth a mention.

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  4. "Tip nothing? There is something wrong with YOU."

    Sorry, but not everyone is cheap. Some people like me and my husband truly do go by the "SERVICE."

    Here's a story where we stiffed:

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  5. My husband and I had a waitress at Chili’s. She wrote down my order, but SHE brought out my food with the most OBVIOUS things WRONG. I ordered “Grilled Baby Back Ribs with honey bbq sauce on them with substituting the bowl of cinnamon apples that the ribs came with it for extra fries, 2 sides of honey bbq sauce, 1 side of ranch, and 1 side of mayo. SHE comes out with the BIG BOWL of cinnamon apples on the plate with only my side of ranch as well as NO extra fries and has the audacity to ask me when she brought out our food “So what did you order” when she WROTE IT DOWN. That was just showing how VERY LAZY she was NOT to REREAD the order. Aren't we PAYING the server to *REREAD THE ORDER AS THEY WROTE IT DOWN TO GET IT AS OBVIOUSLY CORRECT AS FAR AS WHAT IS IN THEIR CONTROL TO NOTICE?*** She probably STUPIDLY threw the paper away. The manager told me she put in the order correctly. WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO TO PUT IN THE ORDER CORRECTLY IF THE FOOD IS OBVIOUSLY WRONG? The ticket being correct doesn't matter if my food is OBVIOUSLY wrong, I STILL have my food wrong. It's like whose fault is it for making my food wrong is NOT the issue; it's that the food is WRONG that's the issue. Bringing it to me like that makes the server look like a complete IDIOT when that BIG BOWL of cinnamon apples was on the plate since she took my order. If another server takes my food to me, that's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT situation, but when it's the SAME SERVER that takes the order there should be some *EFFORT* to make sure my food is taken to the customer correctly as far as OBVIOUS mistakes go. It's like NO EFFORT on her part to make sure I had EXACTLY what I ordered. It makes me mad that they can’t REREAD the order BEFORE they take it to me and compare it to the food for obvious mistakes. At about 15 minutes(9:18p.m.,ordered at about 9:02p.m. )waiting for my margarita she asks if I had been brought it, which I told her no, but I couldn't help myself, I told her about all my complaints, because I was really getting SICK of her horrible service without ANY *APOLOGIES.* I had to ask for utensils TWICE before our food came out. I told her about that I had to ask for utensils twice and she replied "That's the hostess's job" right to my face. I ended up reporting her to corporate and she got fired. Yes, we STIFFED the waitress, DESERVEDLY SO. She could have gone to check on my margarita after the 10 minute mark(9:12p.m.), NOT almost 15 minutes which is what she did. My husband and I were WELL finished our meals even with the mistakes she made by the time my margarita arrived. I NEVER got ONE apology from her, NOT ONE. I had reported this situation to the manager due to the fact that I had waited for a half an hour for. Turns out they were out of shakers that the Presidente' margarita came in, so there was a mix up. The bartender made my margarita in the wrong glass. The bartender never told the server about the situation nor did she find out about it within a reasonable amount of time, therefore, I ended up getting my margarita from the manager after waiting literally a half an hour for it(9:02p.m.-9:35p.m.) way after me and my husband were done eating. Someone else apparently ended up getting the margarita that was mine. The waitress NEVER ONCE apologized for all those mistakes. That was one of the RUDEST waitresses I've EVER encountered. If she would have said she was sorry at least once even, I probably wouldn't have been so pissed off. Some servers are really UNCARING and MEAN. She could have apologized, went to check on my margarita sooner, could have compared the written order to the food BEFORE bringing out such obvious mistakes, not had asked me to repeat my order at the time of our food arriving all due because she was too lazy to do it herself, could have apologized for utensils, and could have apologized for any of the mistakes should made.

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  6. This story is one of the few times when I lost my cool. I don't normally do that, but she made me so mad with her lack of apologies, lack of admitting fault, lack of effort, and lack of caring. The not apologizing honestly is what made me lose it.

    This is one where a COMPLETE STIFF is deserved.

    SO WHAT I GOT SERVED? The waitress wasn't nice, didn't care, was rude, etc.

    When you talk about entitlement, think about how *YOU* are acting entitled to a tip always.

    In this situation, you would have still tipped something even though she was a complete UNCARING, LAZY BITCH, right?

    I treat people the way they treat me.

    With your situation where the table you forgot about, they should have left you 10%-12% at the most so you would **LEARN** not to do it again. Personally, unless I knew the server personally, if it would have been a really long time like 15-20 minutes waiting to get the check, we would have stiffed. You do have the option to take off a coke off the bill, even if you pay for it yourself, wouldn't $2.50 or so be worth not getting stiffed? If a server would do that in this situation, they'd get 18% tip or so. The server would show she's sorry monetarily(time is money), so we'd show it back monetarily.

    With the situation where they were out of something and the meat was cooked correctly even though(I am assuming) you put in the order correctly, that was SOOOOO NOT FAIR, SO SO, NOT FAIR to take it out on you.

    How are you supposed to know they just ran out of something or if the meat is cooked to the customer's standards if it's not obvious without touching the food, huh?

    I have other stories when we stiffed, but the point is, each time, the server was an UNCARING excuse for a human being. They didn't try their best and were just really not nice people. So my point is, sometimes it is the **SERVER**, NOT *ME* as the customer that there's something wrong with.

    I am not going to pay someone well or anything if it's really bad to treat me like dog shit. That is just ENFORCING the bad behavior to others.

    Mostly all the times we stiffed, we reported it as to why. So even if the server didn't have common sense to know, they knew after. Gotten 3 servers fired even and proud of it!!

    WE ARE ENTITLED TO GOOD SERVICE IF YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO THAT GOOD TIP. We are entitled to be just as happy as you are as LONG as we are willing to **PAY** for it, which we are. We have tipped 25%-30% and more at times for wonderful service.

    "And you decide whether the waitress gets a good tip for her efforts."

    The problem is, a lot of servers don't put forth effort. That waitress sure didn't that was in the story, you don't agree since it's true?

    So think about when you say the problem is with “YOU”, the customer, that in most cases, it’s not, it’s with the **SERVER**, whether they are lazy, uncaring, or they just made a major mistake that they didn’t show they were sorry for(a comp for a major mistake, even if it’s out of your own pocket).

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  7. IF I ever work EVER at a restaurant, Springs, please DO NOT come in. YOu won't be served. Take your nasty attitude and sit with the CAptain and TEnnile!

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  8. Corina
    "Take your nasty attitude and sit with the CAptain and TEnnile!"

    Take your UNCARING SELF and I will REQUEST THAT I WON'T GET YOU!!

    WHY are you so uncaring, huh? Because I treat people the way they treated me, that makes me a bad person? It doesn't, it's the RIGHT and MORAL thing to do. Treat others as you'd like to be treated. I couldn't fathom treating customers the way we were treated with that uncaring waitress we had in the story I posted. I bet you are the kind of server that doesn't say they are sorry for their mistakes, aren't you?

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  9. I think being proud of getting people fired is pretty nasty.

    If service is really bad, I do think it should be mentioned to management, but not with the attitude that somebody must be fired. Better to give the employee the opportunity to receive constructive criticism and choose if s/he would like to improve or leave.

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  10. Under Cove
    "I think being proud of getting people fired is pretty nasty."

    I don't if they were VERY RUDE AND NASTY TOWARDS YOU, they **VERY MUCH **DESERVE** WHAT THEY DID TO US, RUIN OUR OUTING, THEIR JOB SHOULD BE RUINED!! They could have been a NICE person. Even just ONE sorry, would have made a HUGE DIFFERENCE in my attitude towards the server, but she was an UNCARING PERSON, so she didn't say she was sorry at all.

    "but not with the attitude that somebody must be fired"

    WHY? Depends on what they did. One of my friends at my table got $9 of change not given back and was told by our server "I don't have a change bank" and she gave me on purpose the blank gift card that had no money on it instead of the one that I had some money left on to STEAL.

    Stealing should be punished in JAIL, not just fired, but she should have gone to JAIL for STEALING.

    I totally disagree with you 100% on this one.

    "Better to give the employee the opportunity to receive constructive criticism and choose if s/he would like to improve or leave."

    That's because you probably haven't BEEN THROUGH VERY HORRIBLE SERVICE, so that's why you say that.

    Until *YOU* go through it, you don't have any clue of what if feels like.

    I am glad that I didn't let this waitress serve others to steal from or the one that I wrote about in the first post that I was able to prevent bad service for others.

    Some people should get fired if they don't want to *******WORK******** for their money. A job is not supposed to be fun, it's WORK.

    The waitress that I wrote about in my first post was too lazy to get her written order out to find out what I ordered that she asked me at the table with my food in front of me.

    If you don't want to work, don't do that job. Work somewhere else. I think she should have gotten fired. What got her fired was saying to my face "That's the hostess's job", because it's not once we have our drinks, it has become the SERVER'S JOB whether they ask the hostess to bring some or the server gets them his or herself.

    You cannot talk back to the customer by being sassy. THAT SHOULD GET YOU FIRED and it did in her case.

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  11. If nothing goes wrong, I will tip 20% of the bill. If things go wrong with the food (cooks fault), I will tip 15%. If the server is unprofessional and looks like they are miserable to be serving, I will leave a 10% tip and hope they eventually find a job they love in the future.

    I have never tipped below 10% and I've never left a table without tipping. That being said, I believe that every server in a restaurant knows when they hire on making less than minimum wage, they have an opportunity to make more than other servers or less than other servers. How they go about making it happen is up to them or they shouldn't be in the food business. I know this because I worked as a waitress/bartender for 2 years in my mother's restaurant. My pay was the same as all other waitresses/bartenders, $2.00 per hour. Some nights I would be lucky to make $30.00 in tips and that was a good night.

    Yes, I'm telling my age with these numbers! :)

    Anyway, that's the reason I quit waitressing. We lived in Jacksonville, NC outside the military base, and when folks were deployed, it took away 85% of our customers.

    The reason I tip more than your average person (forget about those guys who pay girls at Hooters a $50.00 tip on a $12.00 bill because they want to impress her and hope to win a date), is because I know how anxious it can be to have such an adjustable income, especially when young and out on your own. Rent these days is not cheap and neither are those utilities!

    P.S. My mother fired me 3 times for mouthing off at customers (who deserved it). But, she eventually hired me back.

    Customer (drunk): hey, I spend so much money here, I pay YOUR salary.

    Me: Actually, all the other 50 customers that come here throughout the week pay a portion of my salary. You, sir, pay for the toilet paper we restock in our bathrooms each week.

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  12. @Springs1: Stealing is another can of worms. Deliberate theft is punishable by law. On this, I am agreeing with you, however, it is possible to make a mistake. Getting the wrong gift card could have been a mistake, or it could have been an attempt to steal. I had a customer leave a gift card and leave the restaurant; the card did not have enough to cover the bill. In that case, he was local and we called him. He came back the next day and made good on his debt, including tip. It was an honest mistake.

    Making change can be a pain in the arse, but a place of business can either make change or should be apologizing for letting the register run low. We carry our own banks, but if I can't make change then the hostess makes change from the till. Oh, and if I ever told a customer "that's not my job" I probably wouldn't have said job much longer.

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  13. @Diane, you make me laugh! :-D Thanks for commenting!

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  14. Under Cover
    "Getting the wrong gift card could have been a mistake, or it could have been an attempt to steal."

    Could have, but since she did that first(taking my friend's $9 and REFUSING to return it), makes me think she knew what she was doing, for sure and that it wasn't a mistake. You don't agree that most likely this wasn't a mistake?

    "We carry our own banks, but if I can't make change then the hostess makes change from the till."

    I know servers do carry their own. The bar is where she could have gotten the money from or even the manager. There's no excuse to say that since she most likely has cash tip money on her since this was around 10p.m. at night(they close at 12a.m.).

    "Oh, and if I ever told a customer "that's not my job" I probably wouldn't have said job much longer."

    That was my point, that she got fired for SASSING me. You can't tell a customer off no matter how much you want to. That's a no-no.

    Thanks for seeing my point of view on some of these issues.

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  15. Anyone else reads spring1 's blogs? Or rather attempt to read before they had a mental fit?

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  16. My daughter is a waitress. It really steams my noodle at the way some customers treat her. You're so right, they're on a power trip and are downright mean to her. It's not a fancy restaurant at all, so most of the customers are not big spenders. Some are downright sleazebags, and so power comes in all forms, I guess. My daughter knows that when these people are so rude she won't get a tip from them. In fact, she has to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't skip out without paying the bill. What really sucks, though, is that even when people don't leave a tip, the amount of the tip is still included as part of her pay, so they're assuming she got it and has to pay taxes on it. Talk about adding insult to injury.

    Then there are the decent customers who make up for the others. A little bit of kindness and common courtesy does go a long way.

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  17. @Lyn yeah, the worst is when we have to tip others out and pay taxes on what we "should" have earned. I want to go to the grocery store and buy food based on what I "should" have earned, as opposed to what I actually have in my pocket, ya' know? :-P

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  18. I don't usually see you with so many comments and was curious to see what had sparked commentary.

    I shouldn't be surprised that it's just Springs1 - the roving wanna be waitress/repeat it until it's dead poster of the internet.

    The other comments are great tho'.

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  19. @springs1- do you understand that getting that girl fired, cost her her abilty to pay rent, she could have been a mother, who had children that depended on her abilty to bring home dinner every night. Waitresses are real people, we have feelings, lives, families, hopes, dreams and bills. You where the one that was uncaring. So the fck what if you didn't get your fries.its one meal, you have 3 a day . You cost that girl her JOB. Do you understand the unjustness of this?

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  20. Anonymous
    "that girl fired, cost her her abilty to pay rent, she could have been a mother, Waitresses are real people, we have feelings, lives, families, hopes, dreams and bills.?"

    Yes, **CUSTOMERS*** ARE REAL PEOPLE TOO AND WE HAVE *********FEELINGS****** when she decide not to SAY SHE WAS **********SORRY******** AND BE A BITCH TO ME SAYING "It's the Hostess's job" when it's truly NOT once we have gotten greeted, it is the SERVER'S JOB. SHE LIED, SO FUCK PEOPLE THAT ARE ASSHOLES AND LIE TO US BITCH!!

    IT DIDN'T HAPPEN TO **YOU**, SO YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND, WOULD YOU?

    WE ARE REAL PEOPLE TOO, that's the point. Saying you are sorry is acting like a REAL PERSON, she didn't, NOT ONCE.

    She also showed she didn't care through non-verbal cues by not going to check on my margarita in a DECENT, NORMAL amount of time.

    She showed she was lazy and CARED LESS to make **THE CUSTOMER*** REPEAT THEIR ORDER AT THE TIME SHE BROUGHT THE FOOD. SHE WAS SO LAZY that she didn't want to do the **WORK** for her MONEY.

    I am GLAD that I got her fired. She was MEAN, UNCARING, INCONSIDERATE, and just plain LAZY ASS!

    WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE THAT SERVING THE PUBLIC!!

    I treated her ******EXACTLY******** THE ROTTEN WAY SHE TREATED US!!

    WHO gives a shit if she had children? I waited until I was 25yrs old(I am 34yrs old now) to have intercourse when I was MARRIED I waited.

    It's a ***CHOICE**** to have kids. If you can't afford them, DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS and USE BIRTH CONTROL.

    I was on birth control pills for over 9yrs.

    In other words, she wasn't **CARING** about ****US*****, SO WTF SHOULD WE **CARE** ABOUT** *****HER***?

    WE ARE REAL PEOPLE TOO!! Could have been courteous enough to say at least ONE SORRY. Like when we had to ask for utensils twice, she should have apologized. Like when she brought out the food with several OBVIOUS things wrong, she should have apologized. With the margarita situation, she should have apologized. I apologize when I have messed up such as forgetting to ask for bbq sauce for example, which that time I didn't forget that. I am NICE, SHE WAS NOT NICE!!

    "So the fck what if you didn't get your fries.its one meal"

    SO what if you didn't get a tip or have your job, HOW ABOUT THAT UNCARING BITCH FOR YA?

    YOU ARE MEAN, VERY MEAN, VERY UNCARING!!

    What kind of person are **YOU**?

    I just treated her the way she treated us, LIKE SHIT!!

    What goes around, comes around.

    If she knew she had a child or rent and/or bills, any IDIOT knows they should TRY THEIR BEST and show they **CARE** with APOLOGIZING when they mess up. You don't agree?

    Simply apologizing would have calmed me down that I wouldn't have told her EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY thing she was doing wrong.

    She didn't have to SASS ME.

    In order not to be fired, she should have held her TONGUE and said "I'm sorry about that" when I told her I had to ask for utensils twice.

    You see, *SHE* GOT *****HERSELF****** FIRED! She was THE BITCH, HER, NOT ME, HER!!

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  21. Anonymous -Continued:
    "You cost that girl her JOB"

    Maybe next time, she will TRY HER BEST instead of being LAZY(actually reread the order **BEFORE*** leaving the kitchen to show they ***CARE**** about the customer, she maybe will APOLOGIZE when she messes up, maybe she will check on drinks instead of not checking on bar drinks, maybe she will write herself a note to not have to have a customer tell her they need utensils, etc.

    I am GLAD I did. She didn't treat us like "REAL PEOPLE" that have *******FEELINGS***** did she?

    YOU ARE AN UNCARING BITCH!!

    People decide what to do with their lives. If they want to have babies, they have intercourse. I chose to wait until I was at least married so at least even if my husband would have left or died, I would have at least TRIED to have a normal family with both parents. I was RESPONSIBLE.

    WHO CARES ABOUT HER BILLS, RENT, CHILDREN, WHEN SERVERS CERTAINLY DON'T ***CARE*** ABOUT **********OUR********** PERSONAL LIVES, DO THEY? Especially, THAT WAITRESS, she didn't give a shit about anyone and even had the gall to write "thank you" on the check with a smiley face after all that as if I was going to still tip, F' THAT!! She was ONLY CARING ABOUT **HER**, PERIOD!!

    ** WHEN ***YOU** GO THROUGH IT, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND, but until then, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS TO GET TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF DOG SHIT!!

    You cannot expect us to care about *HER* personal life when *SHE* doesn't **CARE** about **OURS**!! WHY do you feel it should be ONE-SIDED to *CARE*, HUH? The waitress is not more important than we are. She isn't GOD, she's just a person like me and you. She should have treated us like PEOPLE, as you said, "REAL PEOPLE", which you can see she didn't. I don't get why you think people should care about people that are uncaring????

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  22. Anonymous
    "So the fck what if you didn't get your fries.its one meal"

    So the fck what, it's ONE JOB!! See how it feels, UNCARING BITCH?

    You don't care about me, I am not going to care about you. It's only **FAIR** to do it like that and you know it.

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  23. it's so tedious to read a post where there is random yelling...

    gotta love trolls :-)
    and people who need meds :-)

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  24. @A hahahahaha. :-D

    Some of the comments on this post are great, though. Blog posts in themselves.

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  25. I see you get plenty of odd commenters, Under Cover!

    I think the standard's fifteen percent. I tip twenty percent, because it's easy to figure out in my head.

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  26. Hi, William. This is fodder for more posts, but the "standard" is debatable and changes depending upon who you ask. In the restaurant industry, many will tell you that the standard is 20%. (Thank you for tipping twenty.) 15% highly disappoints some servers, depending upon what they are used to. Outside the industry, one is more likely to hear that the standard is less. So many issues here... waiter greed and making dining out not affordable vs. hard-working waitresses trying to support themselves and their families... I heard a rumor that in California the industry is pushing to make 25% the standard. Oy.

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  27. I was watching "Two Broke Girls" last night where one of the patrons left only a $1.74 on a $50.00 tab. Max went out to confront the man and he said, "I thought tipping was optional" to which she replied "I thought not spitting in your food was optional."

    Ouch. On both sides, but mostly on the writers who thought maybe this was a good retort. And this post and this one http://www.undercoverwaitress.com/2011/12/spit-in-food.html#axzz1hl1EcYGD immediately popped into my head and I winced. A lot because I had read your blog posts. Prior to that, I may have ignored the "joke," or worse, laughed at it.

    This stuff is all connected apparently.

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  28. Thanks, Dogg. It is all connected; there is a cultural myth right now that this behavior is commonplace. Not only does it put our customers on edge, but I fear it may encourage the behavior among younger, untrained workers who work in establishments that are used to high turnover.

    I remember (a long time ago?) some TV psychologist saying to a caller, "I'll be you eat other people's spit a lot." The caller was discussing restaurants and sounded like Springs1. I rather wonder if the good psychologist started this, or was the paranoia about spit already there?

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  29. "The caller was discussing restaurants and sounded like Springs1."

    hahahahah thank you Under Cover...made me laugh

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