UnderCover Waitress: Must Wash Hands

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Must Wash Hands

Raccoons are clean animals. They wash their food before eating it. I knew some people who would leave out sugar cubes for raccoons as a cruel joke. The raccoons would go to the river to wash their food, and of course, it would dissolve. (Please don't do this.)

Isn't the raccoon cute? In the picture, I mean. I think he or she is washing in a bird bath. So, the birds most likely don't think this is cute. And raccoons are definitely not cute when they are picking through the garbage.

Anyway, people are not so clean, and we must be reminded to practice basic hygiene. We've all seen the signs in public restrooms:

You know, the kid in the picture has a good point.

Well, that is more specific, but sticklers for accuracy will point out that it should say "their own hands" to be perfectly clear.

Now that's specific! I am less curious about one-handed washing and more intrigued at how to perform in the toilet only using one hand... And what if you only have one hand? Is this discrimination?

This is just plain threatening. I would think it is illegal to lock employees in a room until they wash their (own) hands. Or is it?

Now we are "team members" instead of employees. If we are all a team, we don't need to worry about locking each other in the bathroom to force compliance.

This diagram is to help those who do not know how to wash their hands. Many people grow up and enter into employment without knowing how to wash their (own) hands.

This diagram looks like a foot. I wonder if that is what the quotation marks are all about in the next sign.

This may be my favorite only because it is exactly what I think about whenever I am in a restroom that reminds employees to wash hands. What about the rest of us?

Well, you can't get much more specific than that, can you? Which brings me to my inspiration for today's post.

Went out to eat the other night. Nice little hole in the wall with excellent food and reasonable prices. Nice waiter. Unpretentious yet lovely atmosphere. I really liked the place, until...

Before leaving, I wanted to "freshen up" so visited the rest room. It was one, single use half-bath used by all patrons and employees alike. Upon entering, I was greeted to dried fecal material on a filthy toilet with the seat up and a not-exactly clean-looking sink. Ew.

There was sign over the sink reminding employees to wash their hands before returning to work. Guess what was missing? Soap. I'm not kidding.

I left the bathroom and mentioned to a waitress that there was no soap in the bathroom. She laughed and said, "Oh, thank you, I know! Somebody left it here for some reason." 'Here' was a counter on which utensils and such were stored.

Bon apetit.


  1. The signs almost come off as... draconian!

  2. lol! The more detailed, the funnier they are. Honestly, I thought we were supposed to know these things by the time we were in preschool...


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