UnderCover Waitress: Springs1 Ranch Dressing

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Springs1 Ranch Dressing

Many thanks for the shout-out from Hushdawg at Livejournal. He called attention to a little post I wrote about our good friend and infamous restaurant patron, Springs1.

Springs1 has made a name for herself on the Internet by posting seemingly rabid diatribes about the evils of restaurant waitresses who are obviously going out of our way to sabotage her dining experience. Among our most horrific abuses are things such as refilling her water glass without asking first. I'm not kidding.

People behave one way on the Internet and another way in person. I wouldn't give her the benefit of such doubt except for the fact that I have had private email interactions with Springs1. In private, she comes across positively human. I even started to feel a little guilty about calling her Spawn of Satan.

Of course, it is okay to have different opinions. But if you wish to be taken seriously, it behooves you to avoid repeatedly accusing all detractors of being "STUPID." And those who do feel it necessary to repeat themselves ad nauseum and at the top of their lungs while peppering their rants with insults might want to save themselves a trip to the mailbox. No skittle-pooping unicorn has arrived.

If you want to capture the essence of Springs1 in your own writing, I'm afraid there's no app. for that, at least not yet. However, there is The English to Springs1 Translator which I also discovered on my guest visit to Livejournal. You may type in your own, rational prose and have it come back complete with RANDOM CAPS, lots of !!!!!11!!!!1111!! and *@#$**. This translator is a real boon for anyone suffering from paranoid delusions who just can't quite get that across in writing.






33 comments :

  1. Holy shit, I had totally forgotten about Springs1. I think I first read her comments on a blog that is no longer around...she is hilarious. At first her comments enraged, but after reading through her bipolar diatribes I came to admire her sheer tenacity and overwhelming crazy!

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  2. I still consider the (remote?) possibility that she is a troll and having the last laugh.

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  3. "Among our most horrific abuses are things such as refilling her water glass without asking first. I'm not kidding."

    Why can't it be the "CUSTOMER'S" CHOICE since *THEY* are *PAYING* ****YOU******, NOT the other way around, huh?

    I don't get why service should be with a controlling server rather than one that shows they care by *ASKING* if you want that or not to not risks wasting time. I don't hardly EVER order water. When the servers get the water, 99% of the time, I don't even touch it. It's such a waste of time.

    I feel the customer should be able to rule the service as to what they want or don't want since *THEY* are actually the person that actually PAYS for the service, so shouldn't they get things how "THEY" want?

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  4. You should probably get your blood pressure checked on a daily basis because all this anger cannot be heart healthy. Don't sweat the small stuff lady.

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  5. It is considered good service to bring water and to refill before the customer has to ask. Where I have worked, if a manager sees a customer ask for water, the waitress gets reprimanded. While many eateries don't bother with these niceties, it is the mark of good service to ensure that diners have water.

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  6. Anonymous
    I went Nov. 4th to get a pap smear and got my blood pressure tested. It was 100/65. I also got my blood tested. I have 157 cholesterol, not too bad considering I do eat badly on the weekend.

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    Replies
    1. How many doctors had to hold the gut flaps back so they could find your bajingo?

      Delete
  7. Under Cover
    "It is considered good service to bring water and to refill before the customer has to ask."

    The *SERVER* can ask BEFORE the customer gets to.

    What's good service to one person isn't to another. Since you can't read minds, it would be ALWAYS BEST to *ASK* rather than ORDER for the customer by assuming.

    "Where I have worked, if a manager sees a customer ask for water, the waitress gets reprimanded. While many eateries don't bother with these niceties, it is the mark of good service to ensure that diners have water."

    Where you work is RARE and you know it. ALL the chain restaurants I can think of Applebee's, Chili's, Outback, Red Lobster, Lonestar, Longhorn, Texas Roadhouse, etc. DO NOT just bring you water 99% of the time without you ordering it. Also, even at non-chain restaurants, most servers do not do that. Usually at fine dining restaurants they have a water boy/girl that will put water on the table, which this is not your server. Most other restaurants though do not get you water unless you either ask for it or the server asks you.

    You never said the server gets reprimanded if *YOU* ask the customer, did you? That's because you wouldn't get reprimanded if you asked at the greeting if they wanted water or not, with refills automatically without being asked. Aren't I right?

    So your come back doesn't prove anything, because the ***SERVER*** should be acting like everyone wants different things since everyone IS DIFFERENT in this world that thinks of service differently.

    Not all diners want water though. One mexican restaurant chain I had gone to in Tennessee had given us water when greeted. I NEVER TOUCHED IT. What a waste of time for the customers that want to order, other customers that want to have their server's attention for something, and just a big wasted of time all the way around. I ordered a soft drink and a margarita. I don't drink water much at restaurants, like maybe .01 percent of the time I may order water.

    It's some people's OPINIONS that it is good service. To others it's not. WHO wants their server to waste their time, huh? Who wants more glasses on a small table if they aren't wanted, huh?

    WHY don't you just *ASK* customers if they want water? That way, EVERYONE is happy that you get to not waste time for the customers that don't want it, not waste time for customers that are at other tables because of not getting unwanted waters, not wasted glasses to get washed and picked up, not wasted cutting lemons and lemons of the restaurant if they serve it with lemon, not have to fill the ice bin as often if you don't get waters all the time for nothing, wasted effort for the server to get all of that, etc.

    If they don't like ONE question, maybe the customers need to know how to ORDER at the greeting like *I* do when I want water. I don't assume the server will just bring it.

    I am GLAD most servers aren't like you that want to BE ******CONTROLLING******** into someone's dining experience that you have NO RIGHT to do since you aren't ******PAYING******* them, they are *******PAYING****** YOU, so you do what *********THEY******** want. You won't know unless you ask, because you can't read minds, NO ONE CAN!! I don't want my server to ORDER for me. That's still ORDERING for me even if it's free, it's ORDERING for me.

    IT'S MY SERVICE, MY DRINK THAT *I* AM DRINKING, AND I AM *PAYING* FOR IT, SO I GET TO PICK AND CHOOSE WTF I WANT IN IT FOR MY MONEY!!

    As far as getting reprimanded for the customer asking for water, well, you solve that by *YOU* as the *SERVER* ******ASKS******** the customer, NOT the customer asks you, DUHHH!! It's not your choice to give me water, that's the CUSTOMER'S CHOICE, NOT YOURS!! WHY do you think it's *YOUR* CHOICE when you aren't **PAYING** US OR **DRINKING** THE WATER, HUH? WHO ARE YOU TO CONTROL WHAT I GET FOR MY MONEY, HUH?

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  8. It is true that many chain restaurants have stopped bringing water as a cost-cutting measure. If I eat in one and ask for water, I wait forever for the water and the server tried to bring us beverages that cost money first. I remain of the opinion that bringing a small glass of water when people sit down is good hospitality and good service.

    While your point that I won't get reprimanded for asking the customer if she wants more water is correct, I have worked with managers who reprimand if a table's water glass is too low. Fortunately, our current manager mentions it instead of immediately finding fault, so we have a chance to say "she didn't want any more."

    On a busy night with bussers serving water, it is nice of us (managers, servers, bussers) to do what we can to make sure tables have water. It seems a bit over the top to find fault with people who are simply ensuring that you have water to drink.

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  9. "I remain of the opinion that bringing a small glass of water when people sit down is good hospitality and good service."

    How is it "Good service" if you are at a crowded small table and need the room for the things you DO want, especially if they give you bread as well?

    At a fine dining restaurant one time, I was with my husband's grandparents and my husband(a party of 4) anyway, it was so crowded and small, I had actually moved the advertisement plastic thing that is on the table that tells you drinks or specials or something like that. WHY? It was just too crowded with the bread too and I ordered a soft drink as well as a half bottle of wine.(they had this on their menu).

    So, my point is, you think it's good service, because that's *YOUR* opinion, but it's CERTAINLY NOT EVERYONE'S OPINION!!

    "it is nice of us (managers, servers, bussers) to do what we can to make sure tables have water."

    Not everyone wants water though. I have seen blogs about servers complaining about that customers order water and never touch it.

    http://www.undercoverwaitress.com/2011/08/please-bring-water.html#axzz1e1hDpnrB

    Just look at the anonymous commenter that AGREES with me:

    "Unless water is requested it is an absolute waste. I realize we won't run out of it anytime soon, but there is no reason to serve it every single patron, every single time just because YOU think it is good service. You can only water plants so much and the dishwashing involved adds up, plus the extra work given to the server."


    I agree there's NO REASON to serve it to every single person. WHY do it if they customer may not want it and then if you give lemons, think of the restaurant's money too that you are costing them for something that you are giving for free. Think of the time it takes the bartender to cut those lemons. What a waste.

    "It seems a bit over the top to find fault with people who are simply ensuring that you have water to drink."

    BUT WE DON'T WANT WATER FOR OUR MONEY WE ARE PAYING OUR SERVER!! WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT **WE** ARE **PAYING** ******YOU********, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND, SO IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE, IT'S ***OURS**** if we want water or not.

    To me, here's why I hate water when the server just assumes the customer wants water:

    1. Don't drink it 99.9% of the time.

    2. Don't like lemon if they give it.

    3. If they put lemon in it, the seeds and lemon get in my water.

    4. Sometimes they come to interrupt you to pour after just a few sips, QUITE ANNOYING.

    5. More room on the table for what you do want.

    6. More glasses to clean for nothing.

    7. The server comes QUICKER to SERVE YOU since they aren't getting waters for your entire party or any other party that doesn't want them.

    8. The time it takes to pre-buss the table taking more time to bring them to the kitchen.

    Why not just *ASK* the customer? What is the HARM IN **ASKING**? You could really SAVE YOURSELF LOTS OF TRIPS. Do you realize that we have had SMART SERVERS that have *ASKED* US and WE TURNED THEM DOWN ON THE OFFER FOR WATER? WHY not save yourself WORK? WHY not think about that you are making customers wait LONGER for things due to getting unwanted waters, because I know we aren't the only people that don't want water 99.9% of the time. Also, the other servers wouldn't be complaining about customers ordering water and not drinking it.

    Continued next posts:

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  10. articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-08-23/features/ct-ae-0823-amy-20110823_1_word-search-husband-boss

    Frustrated waitress said:

    "Why do people order a glass of water and then not drink it? They insist on a glass of water and then do not touch it."

    That's the way a lot of servers feel that they don't want to waste their time and effort. You don't see that, huh?

    That's why you should *ASK* your customers. Some people may say they don't want lemon even.

    WHY ARE YOU SO OPPOSED TO *ASKING* IF THE CUSTOMERS WANT WATER OR NOT?

    NOT EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD FEELS LIKE YOU!! I don't want water. I have actually sent water back once, because I was at a very small table. Quit trying to be a *CONTROLLING* server and instead be a *CARING* one by doing what the *INDIVIDUAL* customer at each table wants you to do. Don't go by you or majority, go by INDIVIDUALITY!! That's where the tip is coming from, INDIVIDUAL TABLES.

    NOT EVERYONE FEELS GIVING WATER IS GOOD SERVICE. I don't feel it is. Especially, if they give me a lemon, which I HATE with water and tea, but you won't even bother to ASK. I don't understand why, I really don't? WHY are you so opposed to *ASKING*, huh?

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  11. "It is true that many chain restaurants have stopped bringing water as a cost-cutting measure"

    I don't think it's just that, I think it is because majority of customers don't want water, otherwise, you'd see many people ORDERING water. Obviously, you don't see that too often, so the business is going by majority on that one, not just for cost reasons, more like just why do something for nothing kind of thing to waste time like that when there are too many other things they can do that NEED to be done rather than something that may not be wanted at the table.

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  12. Shut up. Shut. The. Hell. Up.

    Even if you had any valid points you have completely nullified them with your bizarre ranting nature. If you can't even present your argument in a legible manner, what is the likelihood the contents has any worth?

    Isn't the fact everyone is mocking you enough of a clue to stop this?

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  13. Anonymous

    "Isn't the fact everyone is mocking you enough of a clue to stop this?"

    NO, because the *CUSTOMER* should get what **********THEY************** want for **************THEIR************ MONEY just as ******************YOU**************** do!!

    Don't you want what *YOU* want for *YOUR* money? WELL, I am WAITING....

    "what is the likelihood the contents has any worth?"

    It's worth something, because NOT everyone wants things the same way. We are all different, so WHY treat us all the same since we are giving INDIVIDUAL tips, we should get treated as such.

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  14. You seem to be so concerned with people "wasting time". If you are so worried about time when you go to eat, go to a fast food outlet.

    If you get so worked up about your dining experiences (it seems that you are never pleased), then stay home and make your own dinner - because then, you will get exactly what you want.

    The gripes you have about your experiences are trivial. You are not fine dining so you really need get over yourself. Unless you do, you will never enjoy eating out.

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  15. Wilko
    "You seem to be so concerned with people "wasting time". If you are so worried about time when you go to eat, go to a fast food outlet."

    If I am tipping, that means the service should be BETTER than fast food IDIOT!

    "If you get so worked up about your dining experiences (it seems that you are never pleased), then stay home and make your own dinner - because then, you will get exactly what you want."

    I am pleased when I get good service and even if I don't get good service, I am at least pleased with good food.

    "The gripes you have about your experiences are trivial."

    That is *YOUR* OPINION!!

    "You are not fine dining so you really need get over yourself."

    At fine dining restaurants we have had some of the WORST service. Don't you get that it only matters *WHO* the person SERVING YOU IS, NOT HOW MUCH THE FOOD IS, IDIOT?

    Fine dining sucks all the way around. You get less for your money with the food, they give you water when you don't want it, they pour your wine without asking, some have even taken 8-10 minutes to get A COKE of all things, overcharged on a price before at a fine dining restaurant, etc.

    *YOU* need to get over YOURSELF YOU UNCARING ASSHOLE!! F' YOU!!

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    1. No.. your gripes are trivial.

      "Fine dining sucks all the way around. You get less for your money with the food, they give you water when you don't want it, they pour your wine without asking, some have even taken 8-10 minutes to get A COKE of all things, overcharged on a price before at a fine dining restaurant, etc."

      You don't go to fine dining to get "value for money" you moron. I don't really think you know what fine dining actually is as you order "coke" at a fine dining restaurant? What? And they have a plastic menu holder?

      You are so ignorant, it is unreal....

      Delete
  16. Honestly, Springs1, you are the first and only person I know who has complained about the grave insults suffered when eating in a fine dining restaurant. While I don't dispute that some are over-priced, I have never seen the horrors of a full water glass send a guest running and screaming from the restaurant.

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  17. I don't normally get 4 sides of ranch with my chili cheese fries in a fine dining establishment.

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  18. I've never known a fine dining establishment to have plastic advertisements either.

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  19. Anonymous

    "I've never known a fine dining establishment to have plastic advertisements either."


    http://www.displays2go.com/Product.aspx?ID=9708

    I never knew exactly what it was called, now I do, a Menu holder. These ARE at some fine dining restaurants. That's in the way if you have a bunch of drinks like an extra glass of water you don't want for example.

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  20. Springs are you around? They r having a hell of a server debate on the baby center debate team board

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  21. Spings1
    No one knows what you might consider fine dining, but must agree with the rest, and do not think you do either! Have a hint, they may not have ranch dressing, which means you do not go there, have ranch will travel.
    Table tents at fine dining.... along with ketchup bottles, not! Please stay home WITH YOUR MONEY, or unpaid credit card bill!

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    1. Anonymous

      "unpaid credit card bill!"

      We pay our credit card bill on time all the time. We have NEVER ONCE paid a late fee, NOT ONCE!!

      "No one knows what you might consider fine dining"

      It's not what *I* consider, it's what the restaurant truly is.

      "Have a hint, they may not have ranch dressing, which means you do not go there, have ranch will travel."

      For those places, I take ranches from OTHER RESTAURANTS when the restaurant I want doesn't have it. I have even done that at fast food restaurants such as Taco Bell when they use to have chili cheese burritos I brought MAYO with me, because Taco Bell doesn't carry mayonnaise.

      Delete
    2. Hmmm... I don't think Taco Bell is fine dining...

      Delete
    3. "Hmmm... I don't think Taco Bell is fine dining..."

      Did you read? I said *********FAST FOOD************!!I even said I QUOTE: "I have even done that at fast food restaurants such as Taco Bell"

      I INCLUDED this was a "FAST FOOD" restaurant. Obviously you didn't *READ* my post, did you?

      Delete
  22. God I love reading a good Springs1 rant.

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    Replies
    1. Check out Restaurant Customer is Spawn of Satan (this blog.) Over fifty comments! Heh.

      Delete
  23. Springs1, even when you wait on yourself, there is a twenty minute cut and paste dissertation we are subjected to, not only are you not nice, you are NUTS. So we are half way there, mayonnaise you bring with you, and now you can bring your own ranch! Or just stay home, home is free from incompetent servers, and has all the ranch you care to eat! Stay home.

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  24. Springs1
    You wouldn't know a fine dining restaurant if there was a table tent covered in ranch dressing, or on you on to mayonnaise?
    And just because you want it doesn't mean the places you chose have to carry these items, get a grip!

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