UnderCover Waitress: Things We Don't Want to Hear

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Things We Don't Want to Hear

Found this Top 10 Things You Never Want To Hear At Work and found some of them rather amusing  when applied to the restaurant industry.

"We've got a crisis on our hands."

"Crisis" is an interesting concept in the restaurant industry. In most businesses, bankruptcy is considered a "crisis." In the restaurant industry, some diner grimacing is a "crisis." And said diner would like to alleviate said "crisis" with free dessert.

"There's no easy way to say this."

It's not fun to deliver bad news, for example, "The kitchen ran out of the special I just spent fifteen minutes talking you into. They ran out while I was convincing you to order it." However, we find grovelling sometimes appeases.

"Why don't you take some time off?"

Most waitresses would love to hear this one, except for the fact that we don't have paid vacations. I know someone who stuck her foot in it. She was trying to manipulate the manager into giving her her way, and suggested that if she couldn't get what she wanted she would have to take time off. The manager called her bluff and said, "Okay. I'll take you off the schedule." And that was that.

"All your meetings have been cancelled."

I guess the equivalent of this is "you don't have any tables." Worked at a place a long time ago in which the manager gave the best sections and the big parties to a select few waitresses. When I saw I couldn't make money in this place, I quit.

"Do you really think your presentation went well?"

This is what you say to the waitress who never sells specials. Salesmanship is in the presentation.

"How long did it take you to do that?"

That is a death knell in the restaurant industry. Speed and multi-tasking will take you far; others noticing you taking your good, sweet time will take you through the one-way exit door. I worked with a waiter who would call slow waitresses "Pocahontas" because they poked around instead of moving quickly.

"Can I have a word with you in private?"

This comes right after asking about how long something took. And it doesn't matter where you work, this last one signals the guillotine. 

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