You know you deserve the name "Gross" when being a pain to the waitress is fodder for bragging.
Imbedded in this story is a link to a 3rd Rock from the Sun clip in which Dick reinvents American tipping practices, and is well worth the laugh if you have not already seen it. Would love to turn it around, how about a waitress telling a table:
"Okay, this is how I do things: if you say 'please' and 'thank you,' you will get your drinks faster.
If you ignore me when I approach the table, I will leave and come back when I feel like it.
If you interrupt me while I am telling you the specials because you are too good to listen, I will wait to put your order in so you wait longer for your food.
And if I really don't like you, by the time you order dessert and decaf. coffee, I will go out of my way to brew regular coffee and serve it to you.
If you blame me because you don't like what you ordered, I will simply stop serving you."
Pretty antagonistic either way, but we can dream...
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